Day 4 of my vacation, and…I’ve got a headache, and the eye I hacked up is sore. This was going to I be the day I sketched out how I’m converting the spare room into MY room/office. It’s going to be a ton of work on how I actually DO it. My god, looking at the junk stacked and strewn because we have nowhere else to put it…it’s going to be so much work.
This house is small, it always has been. Even as a kid, even before my brother, before we grew up, before we had four fuzzy idiots to manage, it’s a small house. And we have a ton of stuff. So much stuff built up over almost 30 years here, that I wouldn’t know where to start with getting it out of here, and somewhere else.
I daydream about winning the lottery, or turning this continued rambling psycho-babble into actual money and getting a huge Book Advance, and what I’d do with the money. My first thought is “get the hell out of Ohio”, but, if that failed, what I’d do with this property. I know I’d give the fire department a call, and ask them to set up a “Controlled Burn” of every structure on this property, and a cleanup crew to get rid of the wreckage. Then, I’d rebuild the house, make it larger, more accessible for my dad, and eventually my mom, as she’s not getting any younger.
I’d have a fence, one that I could block off people cutting through my yard with, and let my dogs out to play without leashes. I’d rebuild the shed that’s falling to pieces in real-time, maybe wood again, but, probably metal. Concrete floors instead of just the dirt it sits on now, and then a smaller shed where the dogs from when I was a kid were at. I’d have TWO sheds! One for the mower and hedge-trimmer, and one for the myriad of decorations my mom has sequestered in storage totes everywhere.
Everyone would have their own spaces to roam, not be stuffed into a particular corner like sardines. My mom could have her Art Room, my dad would have a real “den”, my brother would have a larger bedroom, and I’d have my actual bedroom/office hybrid, complete with skylight. It’s a pipe dream, for me to be able to make a living off “content creation” , and rebuild my grandma (my dad’s mom)’s house. 1,500 square feet, with a full third of that being used by the garage feels cramped for four people that all have different wants and needs.
As I’ve gotten older, my thoughts of what I’d do with a ton of money have shifted. Not much, but, enough to where it’s become more “practical”. Instead of some giant “dream home” monstrosity, it’s become “just big enough for everyone to be comfortable”. I don’t need a house the size of a Walmart, imagine the utility bills on heating and cooling something THAT size.
There’s a “house” on the street behind mine that is pretty big, and I’ve always been jealous of. That’s because it’s a converted barn, that housed farm machinery in a past life. The people who live there? They converted it years ago, and the “house” only takes up a small part of the structure. The rest is a big garage, office, gym equipment, and stuff you can see from the street as you drive past. They have it made, they have the right idea about it, a big “house” that has a bunch of extra space built into it already, because it used to be something else entirely.
If I had that house? I’d probably do the same thing, set me up an office in a corner of the “garage” part, and when my day of getting yelled at is over, be able to walk away from it until the next morning. All the house stuff would be separated off, and large enough for everyone to have their own space, while being easy to get around for my parents. I know, it’s not that simple, but, I can dream. But, anything larger than that? Count me out. I don’t need those kinds of bills in my life.
So, when I see videos of “Influencers” buying up mansions worth eight, sometimes nine digits of cold, hard, American cash, it boggles my mind. Like, why do they NEED a house that size? Is California not big and spread out enough for them? Sure, I’d like a larger house, and more space, but THAT much?
There’s an “Influencer Family” that I’ve been watching Commentary channels on YouTube discuss. Aside from their various scams, swiping money from their viewers on bogus “courses”, they spent $40 Million on not one, but two mansions in the Hollywood Hills, and had them stitched together into a Super Mansion. That amalga-mansion, got foreclosed on, because duh. They over-leveraged themselves, didn’t clear any of their contracts with…anyone, and bought that thing solely as a “look at how rich we are!” stunt. My sympathies only go so far.
These people, who it shouldn’t be too hard to tell who they are, organized a boxing event that none of the fighters got paid for. They also sold “courses” on how to be a “YouTube Star”, that by all accounts are a waste, and also rigged multiple “giveaways” to where their friends, or their burners, got the “prizes”. You’d think that with that money, they’d have MAYBE actually paid off their monument to their own vanity, but, nope! The bank started rejecting their mortgage payments. Shoulda went with something a little cheaper.
But, back on the subject of “houses”, and to tie that in, their living room was the size of my entire house! You could fit everything my family owns into ONE room of that amalga-mansion, and not hit the multi-story ceiling. Again, it’s a waste. Think of the mortgage payments, utilities, property taxes, just all this STUFF that HAS to be paid. Water, sewage, power, heating/cooling, those costs have to be extravagantly high. All I want is just a tiny bit more room to breathe here.
I despise Ohio, particularly my town in the sticks, but, it’s a lot cheaper to live in than Los Angeles. Our mortgage is somewhere around $310/month, utilities are fairly cheap, and the most expensive non-car payment bill we have is the phones (which if I can get us off Verizon, and over to Mint, that’s HUNDREDS we’d save…). It’s somewhat economical to live out here, especially with me being able to do my job from the Moon if I had to. I may not like it here, but, I can take care of my family here, keep the lights on, and keep food in the pantry for a lot less.
If the trade-off is having to squeeze into this room until I can figure out where the hell to put anything to clear out the spare room, I’ll gladly take it. It’s not the worst out here, you’re within striking distance to everything, I just wish we had more space. I suppose I should start brainstorming book ideas at some point. I can’t get that million-dollar book advance unless I come up with something, right?